literature

The Proud, Proud! Poetical Man!

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Literature Text

The Atheist’s Anthem!

Once again, I’m puttin’ down my foot,
I say, I say! I’m puttin’ down my foot!
Had enough of these Atheist
Claimin’ they want to be right and almighty
They better look at themselves
Shake their heads
They ain’t almighty just a sad, sad race
Being Atheist doesn’t mean you should degrade the rest
Forcin’ them to follow true;
Well, hell, there ain’t nothin’ true about this
I’ll tell ya’, nothin’ true
The world is full of fabrication
The paragon of trust and honest
Is turning in his grave

Oh yes!

I’m puttin’ my foot down
I say, I say! I’m puttin’ my foot down
Look out your window
And tell me what you see!
Probably some disrespect who modeled after God
Or maybe God told them to be the asshole they be
Well let me get this one thing straight
Ain’t no one came to save

Ya’ act like rabid chimpanzees
Who finally realized
That you’re just a test-subject
To cure a nasty disease
Well, do the world a favor ‘cause you ain’t helpin’ it one bit
Preaching “God ain’t real! I all told you he was dead!
There ain’t no proof of his existence, I’m sure that you have read
If he was real and almighty, then by God, strike me ‘til I’m dead!”

Excuse me for my rants and anger
Religion needs to end
Drama, hate and manipulation
All leads to that end
It’s such a primitive thinking
It’ll lead us to the end
And if this world doesn’t change
Then my life, I would end!

Oh yes!

I’m puttin’ my foot down
I say, I say! I’m puttin’ my foot down
And if these punks think they can persuade me
Then good very luck with that
My mind is pure, powerful
I will not plague it yet!
Following his own beliefs, which is nothing! This is just something silly, almost comedic for those who don't take it too seriously. It isn't necessarily bashing religion, be it Christian, Catholic, or Muslim. Nor is it bashing Atheism. In essence, it's basically a plead to leave the person alone, keep him/her out of that topical business, and let that person continue on his merry life learning the wonders of the world without the cloud of a 'belief system'.

I think it's funny.
© 2013 - 2024 Steampunk-PoetV
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The-Divine-Fool's avatar
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-empty::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Impact

The Atheist's Anthem, huh?

Well, let me start off by saying you have a very...distinctive poetic voice. It's memorable for sure, but not always effective. What I mean by that is most poetic auditors are looking for a certain symphony in their perusals, be they epic, lyric, or free verse. That said, I think with your particular 'voice' it is still very plausible that you will achieve this symphony, but I found that in this piece I quickly became distracted by the grammatical oddities, confusing syntax ("Probably some disrespect who modeled after God," "I all told you he was dead!"), and propagation of the apostrophe.

I really like the vision in this piece. I don't know where you are, but where I am and in a good portion of the rest of the world, religious hysteria seems to be at an all time high. Where the average person might've been able to comfortably ignore religious factions before, it is infinitely harder in today's political atmosphere. It's an odd sort of...disease in the air. Even I experience a horrific sort of lurch in my chest when someone somewhere happens to be talking about something I believe in.

I felt that the Atheist Anthem managed to capture some of that anxiety and exasperation. Your description, ironically, captured the image even better, I think, by identifying the main 'actor' in the poem to be something of an observer, wanting only to escape the sticky "cloud" of beliefs that clings to society. In the poem itself the thoughts of the speaker seemed a little scattered between denouncement of atheism and an overall negative view of religion. He moves from comparing atheists to "rabid chimpanzees" to asserting that "religion needs to end."

I like the chorus line; it is catchy without feeling too repetitive, and overall there were some smooth rhymes and clever turns in this poem. Thank you for sharing the Anthem with us!